You know what's bad? Liking someone who doesn't like you in return. You know what's worse? Liking someone you know for a fact likes you, but it probably couldn't/shouldn't happen for a variety of reasons.

Fuck's sake. 
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So I went with Harry to see The Dillinger Escape Plan/Between the Buried and Me/Stolen Babies play at Sheffield Corporation on 12th Feb. Take Stolen Babies out of the equation and you've got one amazing gig to boot.


It was crazy.
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I missed the school bus... again. Wonderful. I was going to talk to Jimmy today as well. 'least it gives me chance to catch up on some Law/sleep.
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"Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead."

No way. I talked to him in person today, and, well, I'll get to that in a minute. Needless to say I couldn't have done it without Julia there to give me a nudge!

I had a Law test this morning. My teacher wasn't there so we had a cover, who let us have a free period for the remainder of the lesson after completing the test. Me being a complete stalker, I figured Jimmy (tired of calling him 'the guy' now) would be on a free period also since he normally is whilst I'm in my Law lessons. 

So I proceeded to make my way to the common room where I bumped into Julia. I'd told her about Jimmy several days ago and she still didn't know who he was, and when I told her he was on a free she was like, "We're going to find him." Now this didn't prove too difficult seeing as I knew exactly where he was at the time, the careers room, those trusty stalker skills kicking in again.

The plan was to casually walk into the careers room and ask if anyone had seen a black folder kicking around, which would give both me and him the opportunity to greet one another for the first time. But when I reached the door I started getting really nervous, left it for a bit, and went to check my hair quickly, to Julia's dismay.

When I returned Julia threatened she'd leave if I didn't go in there and then. I did and, apparently, spoke really loudly and... nervously? Whatever. Jimmy popped his head up from his computer as I was about to leave and said, "Hey Harriet!" enthusiastically. And I, according to Julia afterwards, responded flirtatiously, haha.

Later, in Business Studies, neither Aston nor I had a chair at our spaces. We went to the room next door to get chairs, only to find Jimmy sat right there. Then I finally had a proper conversation with him, couldn't have been better. I pretended I didn't find my folder from earlier and so on. Perhaps one day I'll tell him the truth of that story, haha.

Bottom line is I'm not prepared to give up on him just yet. Now that we've got over the awkward boundary maybe, just maybe, something will happen about this. Wishful thinking, I know.
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See, this is why I prefer not to have feelings for guys: there's no extra emotional baggage. Is it creepy I can't stop thinking about the guy I haven't said 'hi' to yet? Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead. Ahead, yeah, if you can call it that...
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Bloody hell - I'm being such an idiot with this guy, acting like a fucking twelve-year-old and everything. I've narrowed the reasons behind my idiocy down to two things:

1. I'm scared it's going to be awkward when we talk in person, which undeniably it will be after having spoken to him a lot online.
2. What if I don't actually like him in real life? Got all my hopes up for nothing.

Someone slap me basically. Oh, and while you're at it, invent a confidence injection or something. Always helps.
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I actually feel as though I can do no wrong at the moment. Now I understand this won't last forever (something always happens to bring your head back down from the clouds), all I know is I feel fucking fantastic and want to relish it before shit starts happening again.

I want to make a list. Let's make a list.

- I won a trophy for being the best to grade at kickboxing last week. No idea how, mind;
- Seems I might be making progress with 'the guy';
- Finally (kind of) established a solid group of friends at sixth form;
- Bought my first 18-rated movie in a store today, an achievement for me considering I don't really look 18;
- My driving lesson today was allegedly encouraging, ha;
- Check below.


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